by
History
Repeats
Itself:
Europe
Promises
to
Save
Ukraine,
but
Will
It
Be
Another
Military
Disaster?
Europe’s
Finest
Traditions:
Grand
Promises,
Bold
Declarations,
and
Catastrophic
Military
Blunders
KYIV—With
the
Russian
war
machine
rumbling
forward,
the
European
Union
has
made
a
historic
vow:
Ukraine
will
not
fall.
From
the
grand
palaces
of
Paris
to
the
war
rooms
of
Berlin,
European
leaders
have
assembled,
proclaiming
their
unwavering
support
for
Kyiv.
French
President
Emmanuel
Macron,
standing
before
a
newly
rebuilt
Maginot
Line,
swore
that
“this
time,
it
will
hold.”
British
Prime
Minister
Keir
Starmer,
echoing
the
past,
stationed
300,000
troops
at
Dunkirk,
promising
that
“socialists
stick
together.”
German
Chancellor
Olaf
Scholz,
with
the
weight
of
history
behind
him,
declared
that
“Germany
will
rise
again”—by
developing
nuclear
weapons.
Europe’s
finest
moment?
Perhaps.
Or
maybe—just
maybe—it’s
all
happening
again.
France
Reinforces
the
Maginot
Line,
Insists
This
Time
It’s
Different
Oh,
bless
Macron’s
heart—he’s
out
there
channeling
his
inner
Napoleon,
but
with
better
hair
and
worse
ideas.
The
new
Maginot
Line,
now
stretching
to
Ukraine,
is
France’s
boldest
move
since
they
surrendered
their
dignity
in
1940.
“Impenetrable!”
he
crows,
as
if
the
Germans
didn’t
literally
stroll
around
the
last
one
like
it
was
a
tourist
trap
with
bad
Yelp
reviews.
Russian
generals
are
giggling
so
hard
they’ve
spilled
their
borscht,
thanking
France
for
the
neon
sign
screaming,
“Don’t
invade
here,
idiots!”
Meanwhile,
Parisian
strategists
are
sipping
espressos,
muttering,
“Tanks
might’ve
been
nice,”
as
Macron
polishes
his
imaginary
Medal
of
Historical
Amnesia.
This
time
it’s
different,
alright—different
shade
of
delusional.
SATIRE
–
A
satirical
illustration
of
a
modern
French
army
stationed
at
the
Maginot
Line
today.
French
soldiers
are
seen
confidently
manning
their
posts,
sippin
…-
Alan
Nafzger
Britain
Stations
300,000
Troops
at
Dunkirk,
Prepares
for
Evacuation
The
Brits
are
back
at
Dunkirk,
ready
to
flex
their
stiff
upper
lip
and…
immediately
bounce.
Starmer’s
got
300,000
troops
lined
up
like
it’s
a
Brexit
reenactment,
promising
to
unleash
the
“full
force
of
the
free
market”—which
apparently
means
selling
tea
and
crumpets
to
the
advancing
Russians.
“Strategic
readiness,”
they
call
it,
as
the
Royal
Navy
dusts
off
a
fleet
of
dinghies
last
seen
rescuing
Tommies
from
Hitler’s
beach
party.
Journalists
point
out
the
obvious:
last
time,
Dunkirk
was
less
“victory”
and
more
“rowboat
rodeo.”
But
the
Brits
just
wink—why
fight
when
you’ve
already
got
one
foot
on
the
escape
raft?
Genius,
or
the
most
British
thing
since
queueing
for
bad
weather.
Germany
Announces
Plans
to
Develop
Nukes,
Looks
for
Jewish
Physicists
Germany’s
back
in
the
game,
folks,
and
they’re
dreaming
of
nukes
like
it’s
1943
all
over
again—except
this
time,
they’re
broke
and
begging
Jewish
physicists
to
come
home
and
help.
Scholz,
with
all
the
charisma
of
a
soggy
pretzel,
promises
a
€3
trillion
boondoggle
that’ll
be
ready
by
World
War
VI,
assuming
the
EU
doesn’t
audit
them
first.
“Long-term
investment!”
he
insists,
as
critics
note
the
only
thing
Germany’s
blowing
up
is
its
budget.
The
ad
in
Israeli
papers
reads
like
a
bad
Tinder
bio:
“Hey,
physicists,
remember
us?
No
hard
feelings,
right?
Bring
your
Einstein
vibes!”
Ukraine’s
consolation
prize?
A
convoy
of
tank-shaped
paperweights.
At
least
they’ll
die
laughing.
Germany
advertising
in
Israeli
Newspaper
for
Jewish
Physicists
to
return
to
Germany
and
build
a
nuke…
Spain
Sends
Navy
to
Attack
Moscow,
Immediately
Loses
Fleet
to
a
Storm
Spain’s
navy
is
sailing
for
Moscow—because
who
needs
a
map
when
you’ve
got
bravado
and
a
death
wish?
Sánchez,
clearly
napping
through
geography
class,
forgot
Moscow’s
about
1,000
miles
from
the
nearest
coastline.
No
worries,
though—the
fleet’s
already
toast,
sunk
by
a
storm
so
predictable
it’s
basically
Spanish
history’s
greatest
hits.
“The
wind!”
Sánchez
wails,
echoing
1588’s
Armada
sob
story,
as
Captains
Slipper
and
Maryann
wash
up
on
Gilligan’s
Island,
plotting
a
coconut
comeback.
Russia
barely
notices,
too
busy
slurping
borscht
and
wondering
if
Spain’s
just
punking
them.
Bold
move,
Pedro—next
time,
try
FedEx.
The
Pattern
is
Clear:
Will
Europe
Repeat
Its
Greatest
Military
Blunders?
As
Ukraine
watches
its
allies
make
grandiose
declarations,
one
thing
is
certain:
-
France
is
betting
on
a
wall
that
has
already
failed
once. -
Britain
is
preparing
for
a
battle
it
already
lost. -
Germany
is
spending
trillions
on
a
doomed
military
project. -
Spain’s
navy
is
at
the
bottom
of
the
ocean—again. -
Italy
is
fighting
until
someone
offers
them
a
better
deal. -
Poland
is
building
statues
instead
of
sending
weapons. -
Belgium
has
already
surrendered.
Europe
may
have
promised
Ukraine
its
unwavering
support,
but
military
historians
see
a
far
more
troubling
pattern
emerging.
Will
history
repeat
itself?
Or
will
Ukraine
be
the
first
to
break
the
cycle
of
European
military
disasters?
The
answer
remains
uncertain,
but
one
thing
is
for
sure—Russia
is
paying
very,
very
close
attention.
Go to Source
Author: Ingrid Gustafsson
