Author: Admin

CAMBRIDGE, MASS. — In a heart-wrenching twist, America’s wealthiest university—the one with a personal piggy bank the size of Portugal’s GDP—is shaking its $900 leather …

Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney: A Love Torn Apart by Lizards, Karaoke, and Unforgivable Method Acting LOS ANGELES, CA – In a city where relationships …

In the golden age of digital love—where “DTF” is a personality type and “Hey” qualifies as a courtship ritual—there’s a rising epidemic quietly corrupting the …

The Great Wichita Falls Socialist Rally WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — In what experts are calling “a powerful demonstration of the human spirit, assuming the human …

An Exclusive 2,600-Word Autopsy on Every Man She Emotionally Body-Slammed By Bohiney’s Correspondent for Ruined Romance and Washed-Up Rockstars LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – At first …

Inside the Grotto: Jamie Kennedy, the Playboy Mansion, and America’s Last Indoor Lagoon of Lust The Grotto of Eden (If Eden Had Jacuzzis, Mystery Fluids, …

It started over sashimi. Peter Thiel, famed venture capitalist and recreational doomsday prepper, leaned over a glistening plate of Japanese avant-garde cuisine in L.A.’s Arts …

China’s Galactic Ambitions Include Moon McMansions, Martian Dirt Imports, and a Jupiterian HOA Bohiney.com Exclusive BEIJING— After decades of asking “What if we just put …

BOHINEY NEWS – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon in the style of Bohiney Magazine. Scene Inside the chaotic ‘Curriculum Council of Resistance’ boardroom at Columbo Universit… …

Trump Demands Recount After Losing Checkers Game to 8-Year-Old A Game of Kings, Pawns, and Tiny Tyrants In what can only be described as the …

Putin Announces New Plan to ‘De-Nazify’ Mars Just in Case Extraterrestrial Ideologies Under Review In a declaration that left international pundits scratching their heads and …

BREAKING: Congress Passes Bill Requiring All Politicians to Actually Read Bills Before Voting A Monumental Leap for Legislative Literacy? In a move that shocked exactly …

Supreme Court Rules Freedom of Speech Doesn’t Apply to People Who Won’t Shut Up When Silence Is the New Free Speech In an eyebrow-raising decision …

BREAKING: “You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!” (Spoiler: Still Nothing. But Also Maybe Taxes.) By Barbie McHonesty, Senior Satirical News Analyst, Bohiney.com The Lie That …

Gavin Newsom Empties California Mental Institutions for “Destroy Tesla Tuesday” An Exclusive Report from Bohiney’s Only Reporter to Wear a Straightjacket Voluntarily California Declares Open …

EXCLUSIVE: The Wall Street Journal Interviews Hawk Tuah Girl “I Hawk’d, I Tuah’d, and America Invested in My Throat Coin” By the WSJ’s Least Appropriate …

Too Big to Die: The Legal Battle Over Waistlines and Justice Florida, the state where logic retires early and irony runs for governor, is once …

Wichita Falls Ranks #2 in Cheap Living—Residents Demand Recount, Hoping for First Why settle for ‘affordable’ when you can live in the discount aisle of …

Marriage Is a Scam We Both Agreed To: 15 Pills Your Therapist Can’t Sugarcoat WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — Psychologist Mark Travers has blown the lid …

WASHINGTON, DC — It started with a gaze. Not just a casual glance. Not a seductive peek. No, this was Sticky Eyes™—a term now trademarked …